Living Fearless

March 3, 2012 By Leanne Vogel June 28, 2015

To read more on the living series; a selection of lessons I learned in India, be sure to check out living every moment, and living open, connected and vulnerable. I’m baaaack! It took me 2 full days to get home but thanks to the wonderful powers of my homeopathic jet lag pills I’m up early this morning and ready to conquer the day.

Last time we talked, I was living every moment in India and confident that staying at the ashram was what I needed to do even though many of my new-found friends were escaping the ashram and heading to Varkala beach. I was struggling with whether to stay on the path I’d planned out for myself, or venture out and explore a bit of India before I headed home in 5 days. The thought of leaving the ashram nearly paralyzed me. I was so scared at the thought of deviating from the plan that I was letting fear dictate my experience.

In the end, I chose a path I would generally never venture down. I made exit plans with a fellow yogi; Jody, put trust in a stranger, packed my bags and ventured blindly. The moment I decided to take this leap, I started developing a head cold. It came on so suddenly and had me holding my throat in agony as my glands swelled up, nose got all stuffy, and my temperature increased. I’m convinced it was my body’s way of cleansing myself of all of the fear I was holding on to.

Regardless of my fever and fear, what I was doing felt so good. I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know where I was going to stay, I had no idea what to expect, and to my surprise, I was excited!

Jody and I arrived around 4pm and spent upwards of 2 hours trying to find a place to stay. In the end, she ended up in one hotel and I ended up in another. My room was 500 rupees per night ($10USD), on the second floor, had it’s own private bathroom, was 30 seconds away from the beach and had one of the most amazing landladies.

We dropped off our bags and headed out to the cliff; an area with endless shops and gorgeous views of the ocean, to find our yogi friends for dinner.

Moments later, I sat with a lemon water in one hand and a spoon in the other in front of the most gorgeous tomato basil salad you’ve ever seen (coming from a girl who hadn’t had a fresh vegetable in over 2 weeks), and the ocean as the evenings’ backdrop. I was the happiest and proudest girl in the world. I had faced my fears, gone against the plan, and trusted my intuition. The next morning I woke up completely clear of my head cold and ready to continue on with my fearless journey! First order of business? Spending the morning lounging in my hammock finishing off my book.